The Scars of Us Read online

  I had to remind myself not to get involved with clients. Hooking up with them was bad for business, especially since I was one of the lead trainers. But it was difficult not to get sucked in by them, given some of the fine specimens that were at the gym regularly.

  After my class ended, I went to my office to finish a fitness plan for one of my clients. I had finished most when I woke up that morning, and I just needed to put the final few touches on this last one. The man was an overweight lawyer who was trying to impress his paralegal mistress by losing weight and toning up. Yeah, right. The guy got short of breath every time he walked up the stairs to the upper level of the gym. He would need many sessions before he even came close to his goal, which was for him to lose fifty pounds in six months. If he followed the strict diet and exercise plan that I’d set, it could be possible, but it would take a level of commitment that I didn’t think he possessed. Most people lacked the drive to stick with a fitness regimen long enough to see results.

  Once my client, Harold Banks, arrived, fifteen minutes late, we began the session with stretches to warm up his underused muscles. We briefly talked about one of his newest cases, a woman who had been in a car accident involving a drunk driver, as we stretched. After that, I took him to walk on the treadmill. He had already broken out into a slight sweat from the stretching and stairs, so I set his treadmill on low to start. I chose a medium pace for my machine, wanting to motivate but not discourage my client.

  During our run, I noticed an unfamiliar face out of the corner of my eye. A woman, who looked to be my age, maybe twenty-five or twenty-six, hopped on a treadmill two machines away from mine. She seemed to be tuned out to the world around her, not seeking any attention like many of the other women here as her head bopped lightly to whatever was playing in her earbuds. Something about her immediately intrigued me; I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but I wanted to figure it out. I had to stop myself from leaving Mr. Banks to go talk to her.

  Her dark hair was pulled up in a high ponytail that swished back and forth as she briskly jogged. Even from this angle, I could see that she had gorgeous eyes, the color similar to that of bright, Caribbean waters.

  Images of her beneath me, eyes closed, lips parted as she moaned my name while I filled her with my cock ran through my head. I wanted to run my hands all over her, feel the soft skin of her tits, ass, and thighs under my rough, tattooed hands.

  After glancing at me out of the corner of her eye several times, the woman stumbled, gripping the handrails to keep herself from falling and being thrown off the machine.

  Jumping off my treadmill, I rushed to her side to help her. Grasping her by the waist, I pulled her up and against me as I turned off the power. Her chest rose and fell rapidly against mine as she struggled to breathe, her hands clutching my shoulders for support. She feels good in my arms; natural.

  “Are you okay?” The concern in my voice surprised me. Why did I care?

  Abruptly, she pulled away from me, like she had been stung by my touch. Her face reddened, probably from a combination of embarrassment and adrenaline. Keeping her eyes averted from mine, she meekly replied, “Thank you. I think I’m okay.”

  Sticking my hand out towards her, I introduced myself, “Ryker Campbell.”

  Her eyes flitted back and forth from my face to my hand before she timidly placed her hand in mine, peeking up at me through thick eyelashes. Her dazzling eyes mesmerized me as they locked on mine. She gently squeezed my hand as I caressed hers with my thumb. “Kaiya Marlow.”

  Her skin is as soft as I thought it would be. I wonder if she’s that soft everywhere.

  “That’s a unique name. I’ve never heard it before. I like it.”

  Her full lips turned up into a small, shy smile. “Thank you.”

  We stood there staring at each other for a few seconds, as if in a trance, before I realized we were still holding hands. Kaiya must have noticed too because she pulled her hand from mine as her gaze darted around nervously, her skin flushing deeper as her smile widened. She’s beautiful.

  Heavy breathing from behind me redirected my attention to my struggling client. Sweat trailed from his receding hairline down his reddened face before dripping off his chin. Turning back to Kaiya, I stated, “I have to get back to my client. Are you sure that you’re okay?”

  “Yes. Sorry for embarrassing myself and interrupting your workout.”

  Chuckling, I responded, “Really, it was my pleasure. Nice meeting you, Kaiya.”

  Her voice cracked, catching in her throat as she replied, “You too.”

  Even though I didn’t want to, I reluctantly turned around and went back to Mr. Banks. “Ready for weights, Mr. Banks?”

  He nodded enthusiastically as his labored breaths continued. Laughing inwardly, I slowed his treadmill to a stop. He clutched the rails as he caught his breath, then stumbled off and trailed behind me towards the weight room.

  As we walked, I looked over my shoulder, my gaze traveling back to Kaiya. She was still standing on the treadmill, unmoving as her eyes met mine, then instantly darted forward again. I smirked as her eyes flitted back and forth several more times before she secured her stare in front of her.

  Glad to see I’m not the only one affected.

  After Mr. Banks’ session ended, I briskly walked back to the cardio room to see if Kaiya was still on the treadmill. Slowing my pace as I neared, I tried to act cool and unaffected as I entered the space. Unfortunately, she wasn’t there, and I couldn’t stop the disappointment that filled me, my shoulders sagging slightly and my mouth turning down into a frown.

  What the fuck is wrong with me ? She’s just some girl. They’re a dime a dozen.

  Shaking off the unexplainable feelings, I focused back on work, turning around and leaving the room without a backwards glance. I didn’t need to be distracted by some chick, especially when there were plenty of others that could take her place. I knew I’d be able to find one at the bar later.

  My next class was in thirty minutes, so I went to my office to work on some more fitness plans. On my way back, I caught sight of Kaiya talking with one of the regulars at the gym, Kamden.

  I’d never seen her with him before, but this was the first time that I noticed her at the gym. They seemed very comfortable with one another, which caused a spark of jealousy to flare within me. Of course she has a boyfriend. Look at her.

  Tugging on her ponytail, Kamden laughed with Kaiya. Her smile lit up the room, and I couldn’t help but wish I’d caused it. Stop thinking like that! I veered the other way before I did something stupid I’d regret, like starting a fight in my workplace over some girl I barely knew. Get a hold of yourself.

  I exhaled a sigh of relief once I entered my office. I set my attention on my fitness plans, class schedules, and workout routines. I actually needed to figure out some new exercises for my self-defense class tonight.

  As I attempted to drive away my thoughts of Kaiya, a knock sounded at my door. Turning around, I faced Kamden and the woman that was currently occupying my mind. Great.

  I plastered my fake, customer service smile on as I greeted them, “Hey, Kamden. How can I help you and your… friend?”

  “This is my sister, Kaiya. Kaiya, this is Ryker. He’s a personal trainer here at the gym.”

  Sister? A genuine smile spread across my face. She’s only his sister. I noticed the slight resemblance between them now, but Kamden’s eyes weren’t the same color as Kaiya’s.

  “We’ve met already,” Kaiya said as she tried to hide a smile.

  Kamden looked back and forth between us, “When?” His tone was full of confusion, along with some apprehension.

  “I slipped on the treadmill, and Ryker was there to rescue me,” Kaiya answered as her eyes met mine. The corner of my mouth curved up as her cheeks flushed with color again. I’d like to make that whole body flush. Over and over again.

  Clearing his throat, Kamden broke whatever haze Kaiya had put me in. He narrowed his eyes, glaring a
t me as he gruffly said, “I just added Kaiya to my membership. I wanted her to meet some of the staff since she’ll be working out here now.”

  “Great. Please let me know if you need anything,” I replied, excited that I would be seeing more of the beautiful woman in front of me. I wondered how long it would take to get her in my bed.

  “I will. Thank you, Ryker,” Kaiya replied with a shy smile, causing my stomach to knot at the sight.

  What the fuck? Snap out of it, man!

  “We better get going. See you around,” Kamden said as he led Kaiya out. Turning to look over her shoulder, she gave me another coy smile as she walked out the door.

  I was unable to fight the grin that spread because of hers. I’m so fucked.

  Looking out of the window at the passing traffic, I bit my lower lip to contain the smile on my face. Butterflies performed elaborate, acrobatic routines in my stomach throughout the whole ride home after my encounter with Ryker. No matter how hard I had tried, I couldn’t push him from my thoughts. My mind had been preoccupied with the muscular, tattooed trainer ever since I laid eyes on him on the treadmill.

  “You’re in a good mood,” Kamden observed, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye as he drove.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “It was good to relax and get out of the apartment for a little bit.”

  “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Did you like it better than your other gym?”

  “Yeah, there’s more equipment and space. And I like having someone to go with—makes me feel safe.” I replied nonchalantly as I turned my attention to him.

  “Good. Aren’t you glad I made you call in sick today?” he asked with a smile of satisfaction

  Chuckling softly, I punched his arm lightly as I responded, “Yes. Thank you. I needed to relieve some stress.”

  “Anytime. Let me know when you want to go back.”

  “How ‘bout Saturday?” I asked, trying to hide my excitement. I told myself that my enthusiasm wasn’t because of a certain sexy-as-sin trainer, but the knots in my stomach expressed otherwise.

  What the hell is going on with me? I never get like this.

  When he “rescued” me from careening off the treadmill and injuring myself, I was shocked that his touch didn’t make me feel the normal panic I get whenever I come into contact with someone. I actually liked his touch. His strength made me feel safe, and I knew he wouldn’t let me fall.

  Once we arrived at our apartment, I headed straight for the bathroom. Eager to wash the sticky sweat off my skin, I wasted no time in undressing and turning on the shower. The warm water helped wash away some of the imaginary filth that still clung to me from the news about Kaleb’s release earlier in the day, allowing me to relax a little.

  I was thankful that Kamden dragged me out of bed to go to the gym. Working out cleared my head, something that I desperately needed in my life. Typically, I worked out at a smaller gym, but Kamden insisted I start going to his after finding out about Kaleb. Even though he’d never admit it, I knew he feared what could happen if Kaleb really did get released.

  A shudder ran through me as my thoughts veered back to him. Squeezing my eyes shut, I immediately blanked my mind before replacing the horrid images with the first thing that came to my head—Ryker.

  My eyes snapped open as confusion set in. Why did he pop into my mind? I tried to shake him from my thoughts, but his dark, messy hair, inked muscles, and deep, brown eyes were hard to ignore.

  There was no way I could get involved with him, even if it was only a hook-up. I didn’t need to get him tangled up in my web of issues. Guys that looked like him didn’t fall for average-looking girls like me, anyway. They went after blonde bimbos with fake tans and boobs. At least that’s what I told myself.

  Sighing, I stepped out of the shower after giving my hair one last rinse. I plodded to my bedroom, avoiding the mirror once again. Definitely can’t look at myself for a while after this morning.

  I quickly dressed before heading to the office to get some more work done before tomorrow. I was the Project Coordinator for a huge marketing and public relations firm in Boston. I handled client invoices, contractor payments, ordered supplies, managed inventory, and created presentations, spreadsheets, and documents for meetings.

  Kamden and I lived in the Riverside area of Cambridge, a small town about five miles outside of Boston. After I had graduated from college, we moved out here away from our mother, who lived in Bridgewater, MA.

  There was no way I could stay there—not after everything that had happened while in that house.

  Don’t think about it, Kaiya. Think about something else.

  Ryker’s face appeared again, but I didn’t try to shake his image away this time. Instead, I focused on his gorgeous features, especially his strong jaw line, golden skin, and full lips. Everything about him screamed man, and warmth began to simmer in between my thighs as I thought of him.

  Damn, I need to get laid. I’m getting turned on by just thinking about a guy. A ridiculously hot guy, but still.

  Grabbing my phone off the bed, I scrolled through my texts until I found the conversation I was searching for. I quickly typed my message before sending the impulsive query.

  Me: U busy tonight?

  Not surprisingly, I received a response within a few minutes.

  Bryce: I think I can fit you in :) same time same place?

  I hesitated for a few seconds before typing my reply.

  Me: sounds good see you then

  Bryce: :)

  Bryce was a friend I’d met in college. Despite my standoffish demeanor, Bryce had continued his attempts to break through my walls and befriend me. Eventually, I had given in, unable to resist his good-natured personality and humor. Not to mention, he was extremely attractive—his hazel eyes were set upon a tan face that was framed by tousled, honeyed locks.

  I’d never gone into detail with Bryce about my past, and thankfully, he’d never pressed the issue of my “issues.” It had made our arrangement so much easier, and had allowed my need for control to flourish. He had always gone along with everything that I’d wanted, never questioning my stipulations when it had come to sex.

  Those rules were absolutely necessary for me to have sex with someone, and most guys wouldn’t put up with all of my OCD demands. I had been pretty promiscuous in high school, but after the incident, I’d changed. Everything had changed.

  I’d spun into a downward spiral, sinking into a depression that encased me, shielding me from the ugliness of the world. Kamden had barely left my side, never relenting as he attempted to coax me out of the hole of despair I had buried myself in.

  When I’d emerged, I was irrevocably altered, and I knew I would never be the same again. I had been emotionally scarred beyond repair, left a fractured shell of who I once was—all because of him.

  Kamden had been the only light in the darkness that constantly enveloped me following what had happened. He and my best friend, Nori, had never let me give up, never let me sink too far back into the chasm deep in my soul. Even now, they still helped keep me grounded, helped keep me tethered to sanity.

  Thinking about Nori reminded me that it had been a few days since we’d last spoken. Given the events of the day, I decided to text her to fill her in:

  Me: Bad day today

  Nori insisted that I let her know when I had rough days, being the mother hen that she was. She had been that way since we’d become friends in middle school, and I loved her for it, even if it was annoying at times.

  My phone chimed with Nori’s response:

  Nori: I’m sorry :( want to talk about it

  Me: Not ready yet

  Nori: Tomorrow night? Girls night?

  Me: Maybe

  Nori: :)

  Even though my reply was noncommittal, we both knew I’d be at her house tomorrow night, ready for a night of dinner and dancing. Dancing was another thing that helped clear my mind. The sound of the music and movement of my body allowed me to drown out e
verything else as I became one with the beat.

  I headed down the hallway to my office to finish some of the spreadsheets I was working on before ordering take-out for Kamden and myself.

  When we finished eating, I informed him of my plans. “I’m meeting Bryce at the bar.”

  I received his typical disapproving look as he responded in a parental tone, “Be careful.”

  Giving what I hoped was a reassuring smile, I said, “Always.”

  I’d never explained the details of the arrangement Bryce and I had, but Kamden knew; big brothers always knew stuff like that, no matter how old you were.

  When I arrived at the bar Bryce and I typically met up at, I was surprised that he wasn’t there yet. He was normally early.

  I took a seat at the bar as the bartender walked over to me. “Hey, Ky. The usual?”

  “Please.” I looked around nervously before directing my attention to my phone, checking if Bryce had sent a message that he was running late, but there was none. I wonder where he is.

  “And for you?” the bartender asked, peering around me at another customer.

  “Jack and Coke,” a deep, luscious voice said from behind me.

  I stiffened before turning around and coming face to face with Ryker. He unabashedly appraised me, causing heat to simultaneously flood my cheeks and the juncture of my thighs. “Uh, hi,” I squeaked nervously. Fuck, just kill me now.

  Ryker chuckled, obviously amused by my awkwardness. As he laughed, I caught a glimpse of something gleaming in his mouth.

  Is that a tongue ring? Oh, God, it is. So fucking hot.

  “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked as he moved closer to me, almost pressing his firm body against mine. His arms caged me between him and the bar, causing me to inhale deeply from the sudden proximity. His scent was amazing, a combination of man and clean. I had to stop myself from begging him to touch me.